Sad story

I feel like such a jerk right now. I’m too caught up in my own worries of catching a bus to help a near-blind man make it across the street. At the intersection just East of 10600 S and Redwood, there was a man trying to cross 106th. He asked if he could cross and it was on the blinking hand, so I told him it said he couldn’t cross yet. He said “my eyes aren’t very good.” Mine turned to a man, so I started walking—I needed to catch the bus after all. As I was crossing, I thought about turning around to wait another cycle, but didn’t (the cycles are really long). I totally would’ve made it to the bus stop in time—it was only another 60 seconds or so. When I got to my stop, I said a prayer for him. I saw him at the next cycle trying to cross and trying to see if it was a hand or a man. He walked into the street and then stopped, unsure of himself. Then he started going again and saw a car coming (turning left into where he was), so he stepped back again. I kept saying under my breath “go sir, you can go.” He finally did, and made it across the street. I felt awful—I could’ve helped this man and it wouldn’t have made me miss the bus at all. Heck, if I needed to I could’ve run to the bus stop. Even if I missed it, it would’ve been better than not helping this man. I keep playing over in my head “my eyes aren’t very good” and seeing this nice man asking me indirectly for help. I totally blew him off. I keep crying as I hear that sentence again and again. What would Jesus have done? He would’ve stayed and helped if he missed the last bus of the night. I keep trying to see how I can feel better. I can’t fix it. I’ll probably never see this man again. I CAN help the next person I see in need, but that still won’t restore leaving this man. I haven’t felt this bad about something I’ve done (or not done) in longer than I can remember. I don’t make big mistakes, so I don’t often feel this Godly sorrow. This was a sin of omission, however. I wasn’t rude to him, in fact I even told him that he couldn’t cross yet. The problem is what I didn’t do. I didn’t act as my Savior would have me do—and of that I am very ashamed.